Sunday, October 11, 2026

Parenting-Ghar Ghar Ki Kahani

 

Ghar Ghar Ki Kahani… Parenting, Family Bonds & the Power of True Confession in Bharat – India 😊



Every Family Has Its Own Mahabharat… But Must We Make It Public?

Let us discuss something very close to all of us — family, parenting, relationships, expectations, misunderstandings and, most importantly, communication.

Honestly, I feel almost every Indian family has its own Ghar Ghar Ki Kahani or, sometimes, Ghar Ghar Ki Mahabharat! 😊

Every family has its own untold stories, silent emotions, disagreements, sacrifices and unfinished conversations.

Some are happy stories, some are painful, and some remain buried in our hearts for years.

But one thing I have learned during my 65 years of life is that no family is perfect, no parent is perfect, and no child is perfect.

And perhaps that is what makes family relationships so interesting, challenging and beautiful!

How Many Marks Would You Give Yourself as a Parent?

Suppose somebody asks me:

"Sanjeev, on a scale of 1 to 10, how many marks would you give yourself as a parent?"

My answer would be…

Maybe 7 out of 10. 😊

Meena and I tried our best to be good parents to our two sons.

We were certainly not perfect. We made mistakes, took some right decisions and probably some wrong ones too.

But whatever we did, we did with love, responsibility, sincerity and with the resources, knowledge and understanding available to us at that time.

Like most parents, we wanted our children to have a better life than ours.

But does trying our best automatically mean our children will give us the same marks?

Certainly not!

They may have a completely different opinion.

And I think we should be prepared to listen to it.

Now Comes a More Difficult Question…

Suppose somebody asks me:

"How many marks would you give your own parents for their parenting?"

My answer may surprise, or even shock, many people.

Maybe not more than 2 out of 10.

Yes, just 2!

Before anybody misunderstands me, let me clarify something.

These marks are not a judgment of my parents as human beings. They reflect my personal experience of parenting, emotional connection and communication.

My parents belonged to a different generation, with different responsibilities, circumstances, beliefs and priorities.

They had their own struggles.

But I believe many people from my generation may relate to what I am saying.

In those days, particularly in many traditional Indian families, fathers were respected, sometimes feared, but rarely approached for an open emotional conversation.

Providing food, education, shelter and discipline was often considered sufficient parenting.

Expressing love, appreciating children, listening to their feelings or simply sitting together and talking were not always part of family life.

And that brings me to one real incident from my own life.

One Conversation With My Father That Changed Everything

In my entire 65 years of life, I sometimes feel that my father and I might have exchanged hardly 50–60 meaningful sentences!

Yes, you read that correctly.

Of course, this is not a literal count. It is my way of expressing how little meaningful communication we had.

But among those few conversations, one became a turning point in my relationship with him.

One day, my father told me something his friend Champalal had said to him.

Champalal had openly told my father:

"तुम्ही बाप म्हणायच्या लायकीचे नाहीत. तुम्ही फक्त मुलांना जन्म दिला. बापाचे कोणतेच कर्तव्य तुम्ही केले नाही."

Meaning:

"You are not worthy of being called a father. You only gave birth to children, but you did not fulfil the responsibilities of a father."

Those were extremely harsh words.

But what touched me was not what Champalal said.

It was what my father said afterward.

He quietly admitted:

"हे कटू असले तरी सत्य आहे."

"It may be bitter, but it is true."

And believe me…

That one sentence changed something deep inside me.

All those years of complaints, grudges, disappointment and emotional distance suddenly began to dissolve.

My father had not offered any long explanation.

He had not tried to justify his actions.

He had not blamed his circumstances or anyone else.

He had simply accepted what he believed was true.

That was the power of a true confession.

Sometimes, a few honest words can achieve what years of arguments, explanations and complaints cannot.

I still remember that moment.

And it taught me an important lesson:

You cannot change the past, but you can change how you carry it in your heart.

What If My Own Sons Give Me Only 2 or 3 Marks?

Now comes another interesting thought.

Suppose somebody asks my two sons:

"How many marks would you give your father for his parenting?"

Who knows?

They may also say 2 or 3 out of 10! 😊

And why not?

Just because I believe Meena and I deserve 7 marks does not mean our children must agree.

They have their own experiences, expectations, disappointments and memories.

Maybe we gave them everything we thought was important but missed something they considered important.

Maybe we were busy fulfilling responsibilities when they simply wanted our time.

Maybe some decisions we considered correct were not appreciated by them.

And maybe they will understand some of those decisions only when they become parents themselves.

That is life!

Every generation evaluates the previous generation through its own experiences and expectations.

But I believe there is one important difference we can make.

We can talk.

We can listen.

We can accept our mistakes.

And sometimes we can simply say:

"Yes, I could have handled that situation better. I am sorry."

There is nothing wrong with such an admission.

In fact, I believe it takes courage.

Social Media: Are We Making Our Family Mahabharat Public?

Now let us discuss another important aspect of modern family relationships.

Today, we have WhatsApp, Facebook, Instagram and many other social media platforms.

Communication technology has become so powerful that we can instantly share our thoughts with hundreds or thousands of people.

That is wonderful!

But I have also noticed something unfortunate.

Sometimes, instead of resolving family issues through personal conversations, we rush to publish our complaints on social media.

A disagreement between husband and wife…

A misunderstanding between parents and children…

A dispute between brothers and sisters…

A small argument involving relatives…

And suddenly, the matter becomes a WhatsApp status, Facebook post or family-group discussion!

Sometimes we do not even mention names, but everyone concerned knows whom the message is targeting.

Then come the comments, reactions, assumptions and unsolicited advice.

And a small disagreement can become a much bigger problem.

There is a beautiful saying in Marathi:

"पेल्यातील वादळे पेल्यातच शमवावी."

In simple English:

"Let the storms within a teacup settle within the teacup itself."

What a meaningful thought!

Not every family disagreement needs an audience.

Not every emotional reaction needs to become a public statement.

Not every misunderstanding needs a social media verdict.

Sometimes, the best solution is simply to sit together, talk openly and resolve the issue within the family.

Of course, I am not suggesting that serious problems such as abuse, violence or injustice should be hidden in the name of family honour. Such situations may require trusted outside support, professional help or legal intervention.

But ordinary family disagreements are often better handled through direct, respectful communication rather than public accusations.

Social media should help us stay connected, not become a platform for settling personal scores.

There Is a Difference Between Sharing Experiences and Exposing Family Problems

Now somebody may ask me:

"Sanjeev, you are also sharing your personal family experience publicly through this blog. Isn't that contradictory?" 😊

A very valid question!

But I see an important difference.

Sharing a personal experience to encourage reflection and learning is different from publicly blaming, insulting or humiliating family members.

I am sharing this incident not to criticize my father or prove that I was right.

I am sharing it because one honest confession taught me something valuable about relationships.

My intention is not to judge my parents, my children or anybody else's family.

It is to encourage meaningful conversations.

We can discuss family problems, parenting mistakes and generational differences without exposing private details or damaging someone's dignity.

And whenever we share personal stories, we should also consider the feelings and privacy of the people involved.

That, to me, is responsible communication.

Parenting Has Changed, But Have Our Expectations Changed?

My parents' generation believed in discipline, sacrifice, hard work and responsibility.

Our generation tried to combine those values with education, opportunities and a somewhat more open relationship with our children.

Today's younger generation places greater importance on emotional connection, individual freedom, personal choices and mutual respect.

Every generation believes it is doing something better than the previous one.

But every generation also makes mistakes.

Technology has changed.

Lifestyles have changed.

Family structures have changed.

But the basic human need for love, appreciation, understanding and belonging has not changed.

A child may be 5, 25 or 55 years old.

Deep inside, that child may still wish to hear a few simple words from a parent:

"I understand you."

"I am proud of you."

"I am sorry."

Or simply…

"How are you feeling?"

Similarly, parents also need appreciation, respect and understanding from their grown-up children.

Relationships are a two-way responsibility.

My Request: Try a Small Family Experiment 😊

Here is a simple experiment I would like to suggest.

One day, sit with your parents or your grown-up children in a relaxed atmosphere.

Keep your mobile phones aside.

And ask a few honest questions:

  1. How many marks would you give me as a parent, on a scale of 1 to 10?

  2. What is one thing I did well?

  3. What is one thing I could have done better?

  4. Is there any old misunderstanding we should discuss and resolve?

  5. What can we do today to make our relationship better?

But remember one important rule.

Do not turn this discussion into another Mahabharat! 😊

Listen without immediately defending yourself.

Allow the other person to express their feelings.

You do not have to agree with everything.

And you certainly do not have to solve every issue in one sitting.

Sometimes, listening patiently is itself a wonderful beginning.

If you realize you made a mistake, acknowledge it.

If somebody sincerely admits their mistake, try to accept that confession with an open heart.

Of course, forgiveness and rebuilding trust can take time. A confession alone may not resolve every hurt, but it can open the door to understanding.

My Final Thought: Life Is Not About Perfect Parenting Scores

At 65, when I look back at my life, I realize that family relationships cannot be measured entirely through marks.

I may give myself 7.

I may give my parents 2.

My sons may give me 2 or 3.

And their children may someday evaluate them differently!

The cycle will continue.

But perhaps the real purpose of asking these questions is not to calculate marks.

It is to encourage honest reflection, meaningful conversations and better relationships.

We cannot rewrite yesterday.

But we can certainly improve today and tomorrow.

And one lesson I will always remember from that conversation with my father is:

A true confession can sometimes dissolve years of bitterness in just a few seconds.

So, before publishing your next emotional complaint on social media, perhaps try one personal conversation.

Before blaming your parents, try to understand their circumstances.

Before criticizing your children, try to understand their expectations.

And before expecting somebody else to apologize, ask yourself whether you also have something to confess.

After all, the purpose of family is not to win every argument. It is to preserve love, trust, respect and togetherness.

Let Us Discuss… 😊

What marks would you give yourself as a parent?

What marks would you give your parents?

And more importantly, is there an unfinished conversation in your family that deserves a fresh beginning?

Share your thoughts and experiences — without compromising anyone's privacy or dignity.

Because sometimes, one meaningful conversation can change a relationship forever.

Think clearly. Communicate openly. Live happily. 😊

— Sanjeev Chaudhary

www.sanjeevchaudhary.com



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